Twiggz

2012-01-26T16:57:00.000+08:00

Yow's 21st!

Rappers Unite..

This is the closest I can get to Eminem. Hahaha. Couldn't be happier when they decided on the theme.

Eminem and ~~Little Wayne~~ Tupac.

Can't decide if he is Jay Z or Bieber (Not even a rapper btw)

Another fail. Boa? SMLJ?!

Kanye

Random Rapper #1

Marissey Elliot.

Random Rapper #2

Random Rapper #3

My sexy boyfriend.

Random Rapper #4

Happy Birthday Yow.

I love you.

2012-01-08T23:39:00.002+08:00

More love, less hate.

"My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was not hurting you doesn’t mean you did not notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Therefore, move on and let go."

I'd happily drown in this pool of people around me.

P/s: Anyone who can do web designing? Can you please email me at twiggtwiggz@gmail.com pretty please with a cherry on top?? Thank youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

2011-12-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

Happy People.

TTR Dinner for mel but she never made it............ -.-

Here's them! Singing! Hahahahaha

Mother from a different Ah Ma. Hahahaha. I wove you baby!

My attempt to cook an egg. #FAIL

VAUNT!

Man behind the show! So proud of you!!

Slutina back in action.

Winner of 2010

Winner of 2011

Winner of 2012! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Happy New Year!

Pull your fucking ears.

2011-12-21T11:22:00.001+08:00

Good Morning Sunshine!

Here's my, um.....

FAIL MAKE UP TUTORIAL.

SELLING HATS FOR $20 each!

Email me Twiggtwiggz@gmail.com if interested!

Spankews very much!

Ok, thank you please come again.

2011-12-10T22:01:00.001+08:00

THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY SWAG.

Romper from TTR!

Super comfortable. Got sexy back somemore! I love it!

Think Joyceeee is launching on Monday! Grab yoursssssss!!!!

THETINSELRACK.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

My baybays!

Theodore's an asshole! He keeps swerving into people. We almost died twice that day.

My xiao dons and xiao joujou.

Awwwwwwwwww!

2011-12-07T04:28:00.002+08:00

Meet Theodore.

Honestly, I haven't felt this happy since, I don't know? 2009?

Please don't fall in love with me, I'm still very much in love with Jacky. I'm scared, I don't know what is it that I feel towards him anymore. It's been so long. A couple of times you brought me up there like how he did, and then I'll remind myself not to so I wouldn't fall too hard if you're gonna fuck me over. I've got nothing left when I lost him. I cannot go through it again.

Theodore's my hero.

Since you've got nothing left, why not take a leap of faith. If I fuck you over, you're still gonna be left with nothing. If you let me in, you either end up with nothing like how you started before you met me, or you'd end up with everything. Just because he wasn't there at your lowest point, it doesn't mean I wouldn't. I promise to bring you up there, and go down with you. You're so afraid to go down there again because you were alone when you were. But if you were to go down one day, you might see a hand. My hand.

God was cruel to make you an angel and not give you wings. But thank god I found you. Because everytime you try to fly and you fall, I'd be there to catch you.

Have you heard of footprints in the sand?

One night I dreamt that I was walking along the beach with my friend. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets. Other times there was only one. This bothered me alot because I noticed that during the low periods of my life when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could only see one set of footprints in the sand. And so I said to my friend, "you promised me, that you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?" The friend replied: "the years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you"

I promise you I'll carry you through all the bad times. I'll never let you fall.

DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT THEODORE?

"No, it's a story from... somewhere. Maybe the bible."

Theodore's a gift.

He says the tackiest shit ever to me and whispers the sweetest things in my ears.

"Dingxuan's god and I'm Adam. She breathed life into me"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SAY WHUT??!!?!?!? I think he said that to Marisse or something.

I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know how Jacky and I will end up. And it pains me to let go. And in fact, I don't think I ever can. Maybe not because I still love him, but because he used to be somebody so special. And it's a lovely thing to keep those beautiful memories in your heart forever.

I do not want to think about it anymore.

Sick and tired of being unhappy, sick and tired of crying myself to sleep, every fucking night.

Theodore's NOT A rebound.

Theodore's gonna be my world from now on.

I love you Aahhhhh Benngggggg!

2011-12-02T20:47:00.012+08:00

Hello there.

I'm not bitter anymore because I know what we had was real.

And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and bring peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me.

That's what I hope to give to you forever.

I love you.

I'll be seeing you.

Hahahaha emo post on top then act yi ge sexy here.

Ok stop acting chio DX.

You're late.

'll be see Fickle and Pony in a bit.

Can't fucking wait.

2011-11-28T20:23:00.001+08:00

Home for the Depressed.

On my bed. Seriously?

Prettiest mum in the whole wide world xx

Lena Fujii FAIL

I've haven't felt so happy for such a long time.

Like truly, from the bottom of my heart happy-happy.

TJ said I lost my swag because I'm in love.

Turning my swag and slut off for now.

Hehe

x

2011-11-24T03:10:00.003+08:00

LOVE OF MY LIFE

I'm scared to move on because I'm worried that the second I'm happy with someone else, you'll pop up and ruin it. Ruin it by telling me you want me, and that you're sorry, and that you like me 'kinda a lot', and that you miss me 'kinda a lot'. I'm worried that I'll get so confused because I'll be so happy with him, but of course I'll still want you, and that will make me start crying all the time, end up losing the best relationship I ever had, just have you get bored again and move on to some slut. The worst part about all of this? I can see you doing it, because you want me hooked, you want me as an option, even if it is an option you'll never take.

2011-11-20T20:19:00.001+08:00

We're never gonna be as young as we are tonight.

Best friend of my life.

Jo Jo <3

KING KONG PALM. *BAMS*

GO HARD OR GO HOME

2011-11-04T02:56:00.033+08:00

I have crazy friends......

Awwwwww :')

FOOT FETISH

WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When your boyfriend breaks up with you.......

DX the Psycho : Set up surroundings into hospital and pretended you tried to kill yourself all while spamming his phone with pictures of you in the "hospital" and crying your heart out. Refuses to eat or sleep. Mentally unsound.

Tammy the Crazy : Ran away at work to the nearest market to buy a knife, continued running to his house and popping 2 boxes of panadols upon reaching. Hospitalised and almost died. Hardcore.

Donna the Emo : Cries over every single thing. All she does is cry. Mental bitch.

Daryl the Violent : Loses his mind and well, starts being violent. Mr aggressive yo.

TJ the Lame : ......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I conclude myself the winner!! Okay la, actually Tams quite scary also. You don't really wanna die do you? Hahahahaha.

But I really wanted to die (a couple of times actually) and not be psycho. But the last time I tried to, I walked into the kitchen trying to find some tools all while my dad was laughing heartily at some Taiwanese variety shows and being very oblivious to his very depressed daughter in the kitchen.

I walked back into my room like a loser and cried myself to sleep.

It's very disturbing when you know if you had jumped, he would never laugh like that again. EVER.

I know for a fact that I'm quite a depressive person. Never used to be like this. I don't know since when, but it has been quite some time. All these "maybe I'm better off dead" thoughts haunts me. And I refuse to admit that I am crazy because depression is so fucking overrated. It's like everybody has it and it's cool.

I DON'T HAVE IT OKAY. WTF. Get over it you guys.

Hahahahahahahaha.

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I or the others crazy"

Albert Einstein

I AM GOING TO GET BETTER MYSELF.

2011-10-25T07:29:00.006+08:00

All I'll ever need in life.......

Girl thinks my room is a shopping mall. Walked out with a bag full of clothes with at least 20 dresses inside.

I love you Wanny Chan. 10 years and strong. xx

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nope, not working those falsies pea.

Yummiest Soba everrrrr~~~~

Long lost friend.

Bro of my life. 184 1314.

Sluts and proud. SO SO SO?!? Suck your thumb.

It doesn't get uglier than this. I promise.

Prettiest boy on Earth. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TJ SIE. YOU SLUTBAG. Love overload!

Father.

Welcome back Bao.

#3 Asian Mr Bean

#4 Apparently very pleased with don't know what. Nirvana face.

And I wonder what's with the hand on the face when I say "come give me a satisfied with life face" Is that a universal thing? To place your hand on your face when you're very happy?

Neeways....

HAHAHAHAH! Possessed. Not cool man. Not. Cool.

Thank god for most awesome friends on Earth. Where got everyday force people go out one? Force as in book movie tickets for you beforehand kind of force. Plus imagine you're the only who's not attached and you got to hang out with couples everyday. How do you spell fuck my life again? Living torture please.

Hahahahaha.

TJ you're so gonna replace Hwee on my TOP 10 friends. That bitch. (Are you reading SH??) Hahahaha. I love you and Yow so much. I know I'm a ghost but I'm gonna be like Shutter that girl ya'know? I'm gonna cling onto you both for life.

Don't fret.

Because please know that I'll MIA from all of you once I have a boyfriend cause I'm bad friend like that. Hahaha. What?! Boys over friends. DUH? It's understandable. So please cherish me while I'm around, thanks! For now, all of you are just gonna be my bitches and slaves.

Too bad pussycats.

I'm such a rhymer. Hahahaha.

Yow is a natural. And TJ is just.... mental.

#meteorgardenfail

In case you're wondering, Daryl is not Dao Ming Si. He is Mei Zuo. Got SWAG.

God, I love laughing myself to sleep.

Here's another one,

SEE YOU SOON, BIG BABOON!

2011-10-22T05:57:00.002+08:00

Haven't cried over any movies for the longest time.

Every part of it just reminds me of us and how we're gonna end up in the future.

I'm gonna die, dead.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, we have today"

10.10.10

2011-10-19T06:54:00.002+08:00

Personal selling post up!!!

Need to raise money for something special! Hehehehe.

http://twiggtwigg.blogspot.com/

Only sincere buyers please....... if not I will bite you!!

For those interested in Mel's item, please email her at melsakoh@hotmail.com!!

Thank you very muchhhhh!!!

SHOW SOME LOVE!! Xie xie ni!!

My TTR babies~~

FU QI LIAN. Couple forever. You 2 are just meant to be. Really. Hahahahahahahaha.

Thank you for staying late today after the shoot to help me Joycie baby and gang.

And thank you Mel for working all the outfits with your amazing body while I make yours look like shit. What to do? Can't blame me right? Your clothes are just horrible. JUST LIKE YOU! Hahahahahaha I'm kidding!

I wove you weri much!

Did I mention how much I love the TTR babies?

x

2011-10-17T22:38:00.077+08:00

At first I think it's great that I'm talking to you again. but we start talking about the things that happened before. Bringing back old memories. And I start to realise how much I really miss us and how I really want you back. But then I remember, you don't need me like I need you.

And it hurts.

Someone once told me: "with each time you cry, you become stronger. Feelings are like tears, it will stream down your face and it will dry in time. Your heart dies a little more each time and soon you become numb"

It's true.

I'm pretty numb. But somewhere deep down in my heart, I'm still trying to protect that last bit of feelings I have for you. I never want to forget you. Even heartbreak is a gift from you to me now.

I'm angry, I'm mad and I'm disappointed. I can't be happy for you because I'm selfish. Love is selfish. Fuck the crap about being happy for someone if you love them.

Even if nobody in this entire world knows, you should know. Nobody knows what exactly happened. People will always see what they see and assume what they think it is. But you are not people. You know me way before anybody did. You know me.

Everyone wants to know why I won't let go. It's because if I walk away, I know you won't come after me. I don't think I'm silly. I know I've been hurt time and time again, but my heart says I'm on the right track.

"i knew from the moment we met, that you'd be hard to forget. Do you realised what you are to me? And what you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life, everyone else will only be second best. There will never be another you. I wish I could be telling the truth when I say I'm over you. You don't just stop loving someone. You either never did or always will. I don't want you to know so I try to be strong. I don't want you to think that without you I can't go on. But that's just how it is. Without you, there's no me."

Read, but no replies.

"I think one of the worst feelings in the world, right behind heartbreak, is that disgustingly empty feeling you get right after you spill your heart out and lay all your cards on the table. Right after you get the courage to say everything you have been feeling and be completely and recklessly honest. it's that feeling you get right after you risk everything, and he just walks away. Because then you'd realise that you just lost. You just lost everything you didn't even know you had when you said "what do I have to lose?"

There's no use fighting this feeling.

Fuck PMS.

One box of kleenex for this entry.

Seriously. Fuck you.

2011-10-16T18:58:00.019+08:00

Baby, you're a Superstar.

Happy 20th my dear girl. I wish for happiness every year on my birthday and I wish the same for you too. Nothing makes me happier than to see all of you happy.

It's those moments when you drive around in a car full of friends around a town too small for you. Where you gasp for breath between each laugh. It's those moments where you get high off just breathing in so deep, you feel your lungs getting cold. For a second, that split second, you don't care. You don't care about school, about parents, about money, about rules, or broken hearts. Who you care about are the kids sitting next to you. Cause it's all we really need isn't it? Those kids next to you. Yeah, the ones who make you feel invincible, even at your weakest points.

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings and friends that turned into family.

I love you Tammy Tay, always and forever.

Cross my heart and hope to die.

x

I found an old memory card stucked in my old camera. I wish there was more. How much I missed those days.

Beautiful.

Don't ask me how fucked up I was. Why I did this, why I did that. It's easy for me to say I did everything and made every mistake because I wanted to get over you. Don't ask me how I get through my every nights. Finally falling asleep because I got so tired of crying and you still haunting my dreams. Waking up the same way I fell asleep. It's a cycle. It never ends.

I miss you once again, I was doing so well. I was getting along, but it comes in waves.

Yesterday was a night in a long long time I felt that I could die, just by crying. So breathless, so so sad. I had too much to drink. And it's gay when you get high and you cry. But I can't help it. I don't think any of my friends saw me crying before. I don't know. Freaked them out. And then I realised it was too gay I had to stop.

But I'm still broken. When you cry so hard you look into the mirror and feel silly.

I am silly.

But it's okay, because I will smile with whatever that's left of me. I don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself.

xx

2011-10-13T16:05:00.002+08:00

Don't judge us.

Waking up to oyster mee sua from Gen and Mars. Honey roasted cereal with apples and banana. Mmmmmm......

Time to lose some weight.

Life's good.

One life. Live it. Love it or leave it.

2011-10-11T05:26:00.003+08:00

When all else fails.........

Love you Yow!!

Boyfriend of my life!

I LOVE YOU MA MA! You're so prettyyyyyy........

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I love you forever and ever. I'm so sorry for being such a tumor in your life right now. I'm so fucking thankful to have you in my life Isabel.

Neeways, I seriously don't know why you go change the camera settings until like that? Over exposed times 1000000000!!! You think like that you will become fairer meh?

Bro in law!

YOU DA BEST BRO!!! <333333333333333333

Tian Yi Bangs!! *swoons*

Hehehe

I'm so sneaky.

This pretty much sums up my awesome life right now. And it doesn't stop!

You're almost there Twiggz! Happiness is just a street away!

Bliss

2011-10-04T03:04:00.002+08:00

Skyping with KW now........

The songs he wants me to listen to, the things he put me through..........

But it's okay, because best friends do shit and take shit from each other!

Eg: Climb daggers' mountain and swim in oil wok.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

The amount of songs he wants me to listen to...

"Eh eh, watch this leh, MUST watch this leh"

TSK?

SIMI LANJIAO XUAN ZE?!

AND BUBBLE POP?! What the fuckery is this?

LOL!

Seriously, GEORGE LAM AND SALLY?! When he told me about this song I thought he made it up? Cause I didn't know the song's title in chinese even though I heard it before and I didn't know George and Sally. I was all like "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT SIA? That's like the most obiang / tackiest name combination ever?" I mean it MIGHT not be that bad on its own (hahaha), but these 2 names together just don't go man. It's like Peter and Mary? Bad.

The other time KW made me hear this song, Tams said:" Isn't Xuan Ze like your nickname or something? Like you know china people like to put the Ze behind?"

She meant "Er" Like Xuan Er?

Why is everybody around me so fucking mental?

So tiring.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Ah boon so handsome! Anybody wants a piece of him?

Single and Available!

2011-10-03T23:47:00.001+08:00

I decided not to post up the rest of the Taiwan's trip pictures because I'm lazy like that.

Celebrating 10 years of Friendship.

The most genuine people in my life.

I will keep them with me forever.

2011-09-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

Okay........ I've been waiting for Marisse since 5PM!! WHAT THE FLYING FUCKERY?!?!?!

That woman deserves a punch on her face. Your Local Marisse Time is getting from bad to worst! Thank goodness I'm at home and I've been so bored I've changed into a million outfits cause I don't know what to do!!!!!

BITCH PLEASEEEE!!

Anyway, I'm gonna stop with all these closing down of blog and disabling Formspring shit.

I can't deal with boredom really.

My life has been dramatic ever since 2010 and THIS HAS TO STOP.

It's like I can't get out of it. Never, ever.

My life is better and more exciting than a Channel 8 drama, or maybe that stupid AI show. You can't even imagine.

I'm so sick and tired of everyone around me.

I am and I will stop!

I will stop meeting people because I've sorted out my thoughts and I am only gonna have 10 friends in my life which includes: Yaxin, Marisse, Tammy, Kaiwen, Fendi, Donna, Daryl Yow, Joyce, Wanhui and Siew Hwee and my secondary school friends.

Speaking of which, I really have to thank Kaiwen THE BESTEST BRO IN THE WORLD! Joyce for being THE BESTEST MUM IN THE WORLD!!! How can someone other than my parents sayang me so much!?!? :'( Daryl Yow for driving and meeting me everywhere because he's worried, Marrise for being so ever ready to let me crash at her place and talk to me through the night, Tammy for being silly as usual for the past week.

I would have never been able to make it through if not for you(s) I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! :'(

I'm never ever gonna trust anyone again except them cause all people do is to hurt you and make stupid assumptions and thrives and feed on stupid rumors.

I will not be upset or get angry at anyone again because I AM STRONG. And I will not stoop to their level because I know who I am.

I will go back to how I was in the past. Going to bed happy, waking up happy, and spending my everyday happy.

I AM GOING TO JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE NOW!

MARISSE BETTER BE READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P/s: I will not be blogging for commercial purposes and I will not be modelling for any other blogshops cept' Joyce's, so please, TYVM. <3 I really appreciate but I am happy like that.

2011-09-02T01:59:00.002+08:00

I look naked. And retarded. And awkward.

Haiya.... please don't ask me to do any other tutorial. I really suck at it.

Sorry for bad video quality and lighting.

I tried my best.

*facepalm*

*Marisse, please, no comments from you. This is not me. Hahahahahahahhaha. Think Tams or Don possessed me.

Goodnight!

x

2011-08-27T13:29:00.014+08:00

Taiwan Day 1 to 4

More to come.

2011-08-16T14:32:00.002+08:00

Off to Taiwan!

2011-08-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Happiest day in a v long while.

I love you Fendiboy. Thank you for always being there for me.

Don't ask me why, questions would not be answered. Only maybe if I feel like it.

I'm tired, always tired.

So cut me some slack.

TYVM.

2011-07-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

Oh god, will you please let him come back to me again?

When I need you, you're almost here and I know that's not enough.

And when I'm with you, I'm close to tears, cause you're only almost here.

Why is it that everytime you take a step towards me, you take two steps backward.

We were so close. So fucking close.

2011-06-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?

You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive

And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive

And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

2011-03-27T13:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sleeping to this tonight.

2011-03-25T13:49:00.001+08:00

I used to always think that when all else fails, love prevails.

I literally lived by this.

I was a hopeless romantic, almost. In my beautiful world with a boyfriend I could live with 24/7. We will eventually get married and have lots of kids. In my fairytale. I'm sure, I'm quite certain happily ever after in fairytales are real.

Yet time and time again, love failed me. I failed myself. Or is it because I failed myself, which is why love failed me.

When all else fails, love always fails, without fail.

I've never ever felt so lonely in my life before. I wake up alone, go to work and I come home and I fall asleep alone.

I miss my friends but I don't wanna meet any of them. This is all very strange to me. I never felt this way before.

I kept having this constant fear that everyone is out to do me harm.

I don't know when I started to feel like that but something just made me became like that.

I've always treated every single person whom I knew genuinely, I almost never judged anyone unless I knew them personally. I am always trying to make everyone happy, at the expense of my own happiness. Afraid of hurting this person, afraid of hurting that person. Only to get played out. Like a big fat joke.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm living for myself and not anyone else. I don't have to answer to anyone and I am responsible for only myself.

Which is a good thing, But it really gets to me sometimes.

I am starting to realise how lonely this life could be and would be. How people are just passer-bys.

And I am actually not Cinderella but Truman in The Truman Show.

If I were to die, who would cry for me?

My family members perhaps. My friends? They could be sad for awhile, closer ones, maybe longer.

And then? Everything is forgotten. The world would never stop moving for you.

So who have you been living for you whole life?

I am not wallowing in self-pity.

I just feel silly to realise all these only until now.

Someone you once loved so dearly, moving on with his life. He seem so happy everyday. Much better off without you.

Someone whom loved you so dearly, he has his own life too. He is moving on as well.

Someone who is obsessed with you, it is probably just obsession.

At the end of the day, you are left with nothing.

The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

So if I never climbed at all, would I not fall.

What? Would someone just tell me?

No, don't tell me. I'm better off figuring out this alone.

Well.......

Good Night Ding Xuan.

Tomorrow will be a better day. I'm sure.

2011-03-24T13:48:00.001+08:00

Well... it's gonna be me, myself and I.

It has always been so, and it will always be so.

If nobody loves you, then I will love you.

It almost seems like I'm the Peter Coffin XX blogged about. I'm on the verge of starting a relationship with myself.

This is so hard. Not, not having a boyfriend for the past 9 years. I almost forgot how it was to be like without someone I can lean on.

From now on, I will only live for myself. Maybe for Dad, Mum and Gor and a few that matters.

Good Night Ding Xuan.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

2011-03-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

I need a break.

I can't do this anymore.

Feels like death.

Bangkok this Saturday. Much needed.

Good bye.

2011-02-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

So for the longest time, I wanted to go blonde. Ok, not really blonde-blonde but just do a major color change to my hair...

The annoying part about my hair or probably Asian hair is that no matter what colour you dye, it will eventually turn orange, which sucks. And orange is a really ugly colour by the way.

And everytime I dye my hair at the salon, I pay around 200 over bucks for brown hair (for a few days/weeks) and then it turns into freaking ORANGE.

I hate it! Fucking look like orang utan sia.

So most of the time, I dye it black. Black hair is still my favourite cause it makes me look fairer but... I get really bored.

Like right now. I think it's a phase. Everytime I dye some horrid colour I will tell myself "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! JUST STICK TO BLACK" It's like the long hair thing. Everytime it grows to a certain length, I'd cut it and start regretting for like 10 years.

I damn asking for it.

So this time... I'm gonna bleach my own hair. Colour not decided yet.

While skyping with Daryl....

He was like... "are you sure you wanna go blonde? Don't think it looks nice on you...." And so he shared his screen with me...

I really don't know why he picked this picture out of SOOOOOOO many pictures. Major act cute sia my face -.-

Ok..... Anyways.... help me decideeeeeeee??

Still think black's the nicest! LOL.

And I'm suppose to keep the colour on me for... um... more than 2 months?

If I go back to black before 2 months. You get a free slap! Like slap me la! Not free slap you. Seriously... you can formspring me like "Eh dx! You dyed your hair black right? Wanna meet not? I feel like slapping you."

Then I'd be like "Ok! Where? I go and meet you now!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahha.

Ok, random post.

Tired already! Gonna go sleep!

Good night! X

2011-02-08T23:23:00.005+08:00

Hello!

How do you like my new elepants galore background?!? Huh huh huh?! Soooooo cute right? Daryl did it for me! Now I can see elephants everytime I come to my blog! Ahhhhhhhhh cannot take it! Soooo cute I'm gonna die!!

K anyway.................

Been waiting for this set of photos from Joyce B the longest time! Hehe! I love them! It's for Tinsel Rack's Vday Collection! But I just met her awhile ago and she said she probably can't make it in time for Vday! Nevertheless... still pretty dresses! You girls can get them when she launches the collection!

Hehe! We went to Marina Barrage for the shoot! I never knew such a place existed in Singapore lor. Noob kia.

The incredibly cute but inedible food in the bento box that Joleen made! Hahahaha. Starving from hunger already lor. But only can look cannot eat. Yawns.

GAY. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Awww! I love the pictures la! And I love the dresses! Super nice and comfy! There are 4 colours but I still am undecided! So preeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Oh, and thank you Daryl bbcakes! For spending the whole day with me doing this shoot under the hot sun! Poor thing! All sun burnt!

But it was all worth it huh? The photos turn out good!

Happy V Day in advance everyone! Love is in the air~~

2011-02-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone! It's my favourite part of the year! All the ang baos and new year goodies. Om nom nom! Think I gained 3 kgs in 3 days! And I love visiting! I love going to my Grandmother's and uncle's place. I love my cousins and each and everyone of my family members! We're super close cause all of us used to stay together in my grandmother's palace when we were younger. Ahh.... Those were the days............

Some random pictures from Chu yi.

While waiting for Mum....... Omitianz that woman takes forever....

Off to wai po's house for lunch! I should have taken a picture with her. She's the cutest thing on earth. I took a shower with her and I cannot stop laughing. She's soooooooo fat! But I love her so much!

And the cutest hamster I've ever seen! Awwwwwwwwww..... cute overload.

And my pretty cousin! I used to be soooo jealous of her when I was younger. Cause my brother, my mum and everyone always goes "Constance very pretty, not like you." Ok maybe only my brother. But the rest would be like.. "See Constance so gentle, so sweet" Yadda yadda yadda. Sometimes before I go out, I will ask my brother how I look and he'd be like "Ok, ugly." And that means good lor! He say I only can be either ugly or very ugly. Hahahahahaha!! He's a retard. For real.

Anyway... yesterday night at Zouk! Haven't had so much fun in awhile! I missed my babies! (No I don't miss you Donna Goh) Hahahahahaha!

I think I was so happy yesterday cause I finally get to see and spend time with the love of my life. She's soooo pretty! Love you marsbars <3

There is a story behind this hand sign I'm doing. Hahaha. Mars and Donna was telling me how this hand sign means like 'no link' Cause no matter how hard you try, your index finger and the fourth finger won't be able to touch? And then Tammy was like... "Huh.... where got... you see mine?" And then she does it, EFFORTLESSLY. Oh the irony. Hahahahahaha.

Roy, Gen and Ciwei!

Wah... my double chin on the way liao.

Awwwww my babies! See la Donna! Orh bi good. But we still ❤ you.

Okie dokes! Bai bai. X

Happy a Happy Chinese New Year! Huat ah!

2011-01-30T17:02:00.002+08:00

My mundane life is not worthy of you coming to this space anymore.

So good bye.

2011-01-18T23:59:00.007+08:00

This is the most awesome advertorial. It's for my one and only Joyce B.

Okay... so besides the fact that Joyce is a good friend of mine and that I'm modelling for her. Let me also tell you why YOU must definitely shop at The Tinsel Rack.

Firstly, I've never really come across any other person more hardworking and enthusiastic about her blogshop than Joyce. I can assure you this because his girl is insane. TTR is practically her life. I can ASSURE you that if you purchase something from TTR, you'd most probably get it within 3 days. This woman goes to the PO every.day. EVERYDAY leh! Crazy girl. Even when she is studying at NUS where most people have tons of school work up their asses. She still goes to the PO diligently everyday.

Secondly, most of her stuffs are self-manufactured nowadays! And mostly Topshop/zara/river island inspired. She buys all the things she like from all these places, some which cost over $300 dollars and she manufactures it in the same design for YOU.

No need to spend $300 already. you can get it at like less than $30. Which explains why I don't really shop at Topshop now cause I have Joyce! Hahahahahahahaha.

Thirdly, Joyce is a very polite and sweet girl. I was like asking her.. So have you flared up at your customers before because some customers are really quite annoying (sorry to say that) and she's like "NEVER" Wah..... some angel. I do get a little pissed sometimes when it comes to rude customers but Joyce? No. So her customer service is NUMBER 1!

Haha. Eh why am I putting myself down for you ah Joyce?

Ahem... anyway...

So CNY is coming! Where else to shop at other than TTR? (And probably wait for my upcoming collection hehe)

Her manufactured items for CNY is so CNY-ish! I love it! Her designs are always so colourful and happy! I love it I love it!!

Here are some pictures from random outdoor shoots! Ok la, she actually send me some pictures via yousendit for me to blog but when I wanted to download it just now, it says expired.

Hahahahahaha! I'm such a procrastinator. I said I'll do an advertorial for her since 3 months ago or something until the file expired lor. Nice. Haha. So I just kope the pictures from her website. Only I can kope ah! You all must ask permission one! Haha.

MEL! Super pretty!

Joyce's xiao bai! Awwww so cute so cute so kewtzzz!

Hehe!! So nice right the pictures?!

I love my Joyce B. So you all must love her too and show her some love! I confirm you all won't regret shopping at TTR!

Go now!

HTTP://THETINSELRACK.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

I'm blogging from Daryl babycakes laptop and I found this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I was like... "Why do you have homer on your desktop? And he was like... "I found this while surfing the net, it's a gif file of Homer doing the most awesome thing on earth, HOW can I not save it?"

Hahahahahahahahha TOTALLY.

Fuck yeah HOMER! D'OH!!! Gotta love him! Hahahahahahahahhahahaha!!

I don't know why he isn't moving! You must click on the pic to see him do the awesome thing. Hahaha can't stop laughing. I wish they had the part when the people starts clawing his head. Omg fuck so funny.

Ok bye bye good night everybody! <3

2011-01-15T02:00:00.007+08:00

OMG! I'm trying to like..... change my blogger template and I am a total failure. I suck at fucking HTML. My blog will be screwed for at least for a few more days.... HAHAHAHAH!!

Please bear with me....

I'm so fucking sleepy already. I have a photoshoot at 8am tomorrow Nice..... the last time I woke up at 8am was probably 2 years ago. Good luck to me man. If I don't make it, please forgive me Joyce. Hahahahaha.

Love,
DX

P/s: ARGH!! CB la! Hahahaha I really give up! K time to sleep time to sleep. I want a pretty header! But this header quite funny I like. I want Ariel as my background or maybe one million elephants! Or Betty boopzzzz... Omg I totally wanna marry a Thai prince so he can buy 1000 REAL ELEPHANTS for me. Ok...... ahem. Haha. Anway.... MARISSE!! CAN WE GO OUT AND TAKE PICTURES PLEASE SOON!! You are a pian ren jing pian ren cong pian ren gui! ROARRR!! I still love and miss you though.

X

K good night everybodyzzz! Shall continue tomorrow!

2011-01-10T22:32:00.012+08:00

Have you ever looked into the mirror and wonder why is it that you look the way you are?

You start wondering why is it you can't look like this or that. Why can't you be taller, have bigger boobs? Have straight/curly hair....

Why can't you be that girl with the perfect life? She's so rich, her family is so rich and she looks so pretty, She has a million friends and everyone likes her..... WHY OH WHY OH WHY?!?!

I used to do that a lot.

Almost every single time I look into the mirror. then they are times, when I look into the mirror and go "Hey... I... don't actually look THAT BAD? My eyes... are okay what? Pretty big. My nose... hmmm can be improved yadda yadda but overall, I guess I'm ok?"

It bugged me a lot. Often feeling inferior and emotional. It got worse when I start looking at girls in the magazine, or some random girls on Friendster (during that time)......

But I kind of got over that phase.

It no longer bothers me as much. I mean it still does but I get over it very quickly?

For example, coming across someone really pretty.... someone you actually do know, not some celebrities or models.

In the past it would affect me for a good period of time. And then I would start trying to change myself to look better. Like wanting to do one million thing all of a sudden. "Maybe I should go for a manicure... maybe a hair dye? Extensions? If I had thicker longer hair maybe I'll look better.....?"

Meh.

Now... I would be like... Hiya..... god is unfair. Start thinking for a bit... and continue doing what I was doing.

The reason why I'm blogging about this today is because I hope girls or anyone would know that looks is NOT everything.

Sometimes, I would have questions in FS like.. "Do you ever feel inferior? Like jealous of your friends or blah blah blah" Or I had a friend bbm-ing me saying she's very sad because she feels that she is ugly compared to a lot of girls out there.

And I try and try to understand them, I want to help them. I'm not a saint. No one is. But it gets me thinking. WHY? I really do understand. But how do I let them know I do?

Beauty, fame and fortune is not EVERYTHING in life.

I'm sure people think "Aiya... of course la, you don't look THAT BAD yourself, that's why you can say that."

Look at this girl (Now I did not say she is ugly ok, I just google searched ugly girls and she appeared.)

And this... Hahahah SEE LA! Plastic surgery some more la.

Be glad you don't look like that?

Comparing yourself to someone better will only make yourself feel worse. There will ALWAYS be someone better than you no matter how good you are.

I actually googled for someone wihout a face and there actually are people in the world without a face but it's quite scary so I don't wanna post the picture up too. You think those 2 above are ugly, at least they have a face?

Comparison kills.

I remember when I was in still studying and my mum always go like... "You see the who who who's daughter, people in RAFFLES GIRLS LEH! You leh?"

And I would answer back something like.. "Why you always compare me to someone better, the who who who's daughter is a school drop out leh! If you compare me with her you should be proud already please"

Why can't we do the same now?

Instead of comparing, why can't you just accept who you are because you are NEVER gonna be able to change who how you look or your life.

Unless, you are freaking rich? You can go for plastic surgery...

But so what?! Beauty and youth fades eventually....

Everyone knows I'm a fan of Twiggy...

In the past, she looks like that.... My goddess, She's a barbie!

Now...

Still a beauty nonetheless.... But see what I mean?

Humans are born ugly. They are born with nothing. Everything that comes out of a human is filth. Eye shit, ear shit, shit shit shit, urine....

EVERYTHING.

No matter how pretty you are now, it will all fade away.

There is no use trying to be that girl you see on the net, or feeling depressed because your family isn't as rich as theirs.

Wallowing in self-pity isn't gonna change a single thing.

As I've always tell myself and everyone else, a pretty girl might get all the attention at first but a girl with character, confidence and a kind heart will definitely shine... all the way, till you die.

You must embrace yourself and love yourself because nobody in the world will do that for you, well, maybe only your parents.

Start loving yourself because only when you do that can you love another person the right way.

Do you know what I'm saying?

If your boyfriend goes... "Wah.. that girl damn hot...." (Which he shouldn't even be saying but you know boys....) I'm sure most girls would be either annoyed, or start thinking "I wonder if he ever felt that way about me?"

You know why?

Because you don't love yourself enough!

That's why you get jealous... or feel inadequate in some ways.

NO YOU SHOULDN'T NO M'AM!

Because when you do...

That's when you have evil thoughts! Like me..... like you wish someone would splash some acid on her face so your boyfriend would think you're hotter than her.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

No, really. I do......... last time..... LAST TIME LA!!! Wah lao, don't judge me thank you.

Now I very kind. And that is all that matters. I have kind thoughts. I no longer hate. I'm done with hating.

Hahahahahahahaha.

LOVE YOURSELF LOVE YOURSELF LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!

SAY I LOVE MYSELF OUT LOUD INTO THE MIRROR ONE MILLION TIMES NOW! Hahahahahah.

I'm learning too. Let's all love ourselves!

Ok.................... I want to sleep already!

And my next post will be an advertorial for my bb Joyce for THETINSELRACK!

Omg...... it's been soooo long! She's gonna killll me tomorrowwwwwww!!

Good night! Love you(s)!

P/s: My echo expired so I won't be replying comments on my blog anymore! You can formspring me!

2011-01-01T22:27:00.009+08:00

I know I'm late..

But here are some pictures from Xmas eve and yesterday! Hehe.

Bbboy!

I swear my boobs need to take a chill pill on Xmas man. Hahahaha.

EPIC! Vaguely remember someone passing us some drinks which tasted super horrible and YUPS.......... HAHAHAHAHA! What's up man my face.

New Year's Eve!!

Honestly, my new year's eve was damn bad? I have no idea why I was so fucking emo yesterday? I actually cried in the cab on the way to the party. Hahaha. My brains got problem. The first person I saw when I reached was Fendi and he was like what the fuck is wrong with your eyes.. then I started crying -_- Hahahahahaha!! And my eyes ah, seriously. Been like almost a week? Can anyone tell me what's wrong? There's totally no pain, no itch no nothing. Just really really red. Haven't worn my specs out for almost 3 years.....

Don't slash me please. I did not draw this. PEACE ^^V

Botak! So cute uh!

Awww Cheryl bb! <3

Some VS fashion show! FAIL.

Hope you had a good one!

And nope, no new year's resolution. I'm pretty glad 2011 is here. 2010 is by far the worse year EVER. E.V.E.R. So much things happened. So much drama.

I really hope 2011 would be better. For me, and for all of you.

Happy New Year! Pull your fucking ears.

2010-12-26T19:53:00.003+08:00

Hi!!!! I ish a cam whore.....

No, not really.

Just very bored at home. It's been 2 whole days. Just watching ancient aliens on youtube. Omfg! Best show everrrrrr! Seriously! I should blog about it soon.

WE ARE ACTUALLY ALL ETs... you know? Hahahahahahha!!

Going to meet the boyfriend nowz.... Bad boy always leave me alone. :'(

Bye bye! XX

2010-12-25T23:09:00.008+08:00

THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTORIAL.

But then again, kind of? For a.. um.. friend? Haha.

So for the longest time, I've been wanting to do something. It is on the very top of my to-do list.

YOGA.

Honestly. I wanted to do Yoga ever since I was 15? I have absolutely no clue why or how I even knew about yoga back then but when I actually did, I just felt compelled to do it. Like it was in me..... The whole yoga thing is so cool? Everytime I think of yoga I think of levitating in the air while in a lotus seat position. Hahahahaha.

Unfortunately for me.. none of my friends ever wanted to. Plus the fact that I'm such a bum. Even taking my driving license. All I do is to procrastinate.

That's not the point.

The point is, a few months ago, I was talking to my best friend Yaxin about wanting to do Yoga and she agreed to learning it with me. I was soooooo happy. Like GOD? FINALLY SOMEONE! But where?!

And so I tweeted about it and people were telling me about a lot of random places, a couple said pure yoga and I was pretty confused about all the different choices. UNTIL I realised a friend was working at True Yoga.

http://www.trueyoga.com.sg

Ahhhhhh~~~~~~~~ I can literally see a halo above this logo and angels flying around it.

When I first went to True Yoga at Pacific Plaza to know more about it, I was like shocked. The whole place was soooo posh. It literally looked like a major huge beauty spa. Seriously. The lounge.. I wish I can take a picture of myself doing a thumbs up sign and winking. Haha. There were so many people sitting there.. either waiting for the next class, or you know.. just chilling out.

If it was me, I would wear some tight fitting attire and sit there and pose for 3 hours everyday after my class. Who knows.. a hot instructor also in tight fit yoga suit might pick me up. And we can yoga for life. Hahahahahha!

And the awesomeness doesn't stop. Well as the name suggest.... TRUE YOGA, I I thought I could only learn Yoga there.. I WAS WRONG. You can learn pilates, bollywood dancing, belly dancing and a whole lot of other different dance or exercises. Super worth it. So if you have friends like me that goes.. "Huh.. why Yoga? I'm learning Pilates leh" when you ask them to learn yoga with you. You can now go.. "Well, I'm learning yoga AND pilates at TRUE YOGA, bet your school only offers Pilates LOSER" Hahahahahahhahahahah!!

(Omg seriously, I don't know why I'm so enthu)

Ahem... Like that Tammy ah.. ask her go Yoga with me she say she only want to go for bollywood dancing. Like she wanna pay for the same thing as me BUT only go for bollywood dance classes. Errrr...... really want to roll my eyes at her. She learn bollywood dancing for what ah? Excuse me? Dance for her boyfriend? Hahahaha.

Ok... it's just damn awesome la! CAN ALL OF YOU GO LEARN YOGA NOW?!?! I'm thinking of starting next month when my fat best friend is ready.

I know I sound super un-serious in this post but Yoga is really something that benefits you. As quoted from Wikipedia "Yoga is the sum total of all activities - mental, verbal and physical"

Girls can have bigger boobs while doing certain yoga position, can live longer, etc etc....

Yoga is the new IT now ok! Don't be jealous when I become a yoga master. I'll levitate and hover above all of you laughing out loud at all you minions. Hahahahahahahaha.

Ok la ok la. Now all of you can contact Clement at 91110542 for some special promotions and free trial classes. Only call Clement ah. Don't call True Yoga and randomly ask about Yoga. CALL CLEMENT! Hahahaha.

Hard sell max.

GO!

NOW!

I'm gonna sleep now! Good night and oh MERRY CHRISTMAS!! <3

2010-12-17T21:45:00.007+08:00

ADVERTORIAL

With Christmas just around the corner, I'm sure all of you are busy looking for gifts. But what if you have a limited budget and so many friends? Ever thought of doing it the old school way by sending Christmas cards?

I don't know about all of you, but I feel that receiving cards is one of the most heartwarming presents one can ever receive.

This year...

Why not try INFINITE?

Infinite sells mainly paper products like cards, gift tags, moleskins etc. All items are sourced by the owner, Nicolette from individual designers all over the world and everything is handmade. Ok la, not handmade by yourself but at least handmade by someone else? The word handmade just sounds endearing to me. AWWWWWWWWWW..........

Imagine this,

You go up to a friend, pass them the Christmas card and go "MERRY CHRISTMAS! This is for you! It's handmade..."

And your friend will probably go... "Ooooo REALLY?! HANDMADE?!?! So sweet of youuuuu!"

Win win.

Technically, you are not lying? IT IS HANDMADE, except not by you. Hahahaha.

INFINITE is also having a promotion for Christmas now! YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN AN IPOD TOUCH!

All you have to do is...

1. Purchase something from INFINITE

2. Be a fan of INFINITE by liking them on their Facebook HERE

3. Upload a photo that you have purchase on their facebook wall.

4. Get your friend to like your photo!

(click picture to enlarge)

THAT'S ALL! Simple isn't it?! Check out INFINITE's website now and YOU might be the lucky one to win an IPOD Touch and make all your family and friends happy this Christmas with a little something!!!

GO NOW! http://iloveinfinite.com/

Happy Shopping! X

P/s: Nicolette also have a booth at SWAP AND SHOP tomorrow! Booth W10! Omgomgomg! I'm so excited for the flea tomorrow! Come down and show your support for us! We'll be at room wine bar & bistro booth W35, W36 and W37 !! YAY!!

Hope to see you!

2010-12-13T22:45:00.007+08:00

HELLO!!!

I survived Zoukout! Ok honestly, it was damn bad. I hated every part of it except for the pre-party Daryl planned! DOPE SHIT!

What a freaking ridiculous night. I got so high I cried, peed in the bush 1000 times, slept in the boot, sang "Just the way I am" inspired by Bruno's "Just the way you are" and I BELONG TO ME by Taylor Swift. Pro not you tell me? High already still can change lyrics. Secretly narcissistic.

Sings~~

I wear short skirt, I wear T shirt

I'm Cheer Captain but I'm on the Bleachers.

Dreaming bout' the day when I wake up and find that

What I've been looking for

has been here the whole time~~~

When I see my faceeeeeeee~~

there's not a thing that I would change

cause I am amazing

JUST THE WAY I AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!! Self obsessed much. Can imagine myself looking into the mirror every morning going GOD I LOVE MYSELF.. SO... MUCH! *blows flying kiss to self*

WE CAME PREPARED!

Pocahontus HAHAHAHAHHA!

MMMM... I love boobies.

Wah wah.. now you can pose liao uh Daryl. You think you some DJ outside Zoukout uh? Haha. DJ Curiousity a la DJ inquisitive. Hahahahahahah! <3

Oh well... I still had fun! Never take pictures with Marisse cause Tams was the only one with a camera and she had to disappear half way. Don't know go where do what la huh.

Haha.

Ok!! Me ish sleepy! Good night!!

2010-12-11T15:29:00.001+08:00

WHO'S EXCITED FOR ZOUKOUT?!?!?!

MEEEEE!!! ROARRRRR!!!!!

See you! Bai!

2010-12-06T00:46:00.004+08:00

Swap & $hop
“Celebrating the Christmas Spirit”
18 December 2010
11AM – 5PM

With Christmas just around the corner, it’s always a frantic rush to get family and friends an original and exciting present. At this year’s Christmas Swap and Shop, you’re sure to find something for everyone!

Come 18^th December 2010, St James Powerstation will be decked out in red and green, complete with Father Christmas at the door, welcoming you into the spacious and cool air-conditioned arena where hundreds of stalls await.

Let Christmas carols get you into the Christmas shopping spirit as you make your way through the hundreds of stalls looking for that perfect gift. From clothing and accessories, to funky gifts and gadgets! You’ll be sure to find something for everyone!

With an Early Bird Fee at SGD$40.00, what are you waiting for? Quick get into the Christmas spirit with us on the 18^thDecember 2010 and come celebrate the season of giving!

I will have a booth there together with my babies Tammy, Donna and Marisse. We'll be selling our pre-loved apparels, stocks, and whatsnot there on that day! This is such a great opportunity to not only shop to your heart's content but also a get-together with session with your friends and us! I'm starting to get excited at the thought of it! Do come and say hi!

To get your Santa hats on,

Please register at http://swapandshopflea.blogspot.com

See you with Santa and his little elves on 18^th December 2010 at

St James Power Station!

3 Sentosa Gateway, S098544, 11am to 5pm.

2010-11-28T22:27:00.010+08:00

I LOVE SUNDAYS AT MUM'S...

2010-11-26T02:21:00.003+08:00

COLLECTION 8 LAUNCHING LATER AT 7pm !!

Hope to see you!

Love,

Ding Xuan

2010-11-24T03:20:00.006+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging much.... been so busy lately.

Some random pictures from random days....

What a cutie pie! XXX

Drunkard wants pork chop rice at prawn mee place. Nice.

Ok, I really need to get some much needed sleep now! Just got done with PirateGypsies photoshoot and the pictures are DOPE! One of my favourite collection so far! Hehe.

Will probably do up a preview by tomorrow so do check back!

Ok good night all!

2010-11-13T15:33:00.013+08:00

For the longest time, I've been in love with a guy. He was my world, I spent 24/7 with him for almost a year and a half until I went to China for an exchange programme. I have never been away from him ever since we got together and the sudden exposure was so liberating. I don't know what I was doing.

I felt so good being with my best friend everyday. I totally forgot how it feels like to be single and spending quality time with my friends. I could do everything I wanted and I did. I don't know what I was doing.

Everything started changing from then on, even when I came back, I knew things were different. Being apart for so long also made me realised a lot of things I didn't wanted to. I refused to realise the things I was realising. I tried my best to block everything that was negative because that is who I am.

But I couldn't. It was my fault.

He was so patient and understanding. Such a nice person, I know I should never make him sad again.

And then I heard things from people. Something that changed my life. WHAT WAS THAT? I couldn't believe it.

I always wanted to marry him. The date was set, on 10th October 2010. I told every single one I knew. My mum told me nothing was forever, she said I was still young and people change. I was indignant. "Nah... what do you know about love mum?"

But what do I know about love? Nothing.

Everything that I ever believed in failed me. The lies, deception and miscommunications ruined me. And I believed it was the same for him.

I tried to be happy again. Tried to fill the void in my heart by meeting people and having fun, and it led to disaster. It alleviated my pain for awhile but eats me up from inside out at night.

Why do I feel like something is missing? Something at the back of my head kept telling me no matter what I do I wouldn't be as happy as I was. I tried so hard everyday, all I ever wanted in life was to just be happy. Why is it so hard to achieve something that is so simple? Was it me?

All the random and insane thoughts in my head every night. I wanted things to change. Whatever the change is, I wanted a change.

It was a mess. I'm a mess. That's why he's not gonna want me back anymore.

Good Bye.

I've always been Aunt Agony for all my friends but I guess it's because I'm Miss Agony which is why I'm so good at comforting people. Miserable everyday. From now on, I'll look into the mirror and counsel myself until I'm better.

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself anymore. If I always live in the past I will never move forward in life.

Now all I need to do is :

1. A serious mental spring cleaning.

2. Get my driving license cause there's a new car (which I assume its for me) waiting for me at home! God dammit!

3. Be nice to a certain someone I should have been since a very long time ago.

4. Accept my new reality, without resentment.

This is so fucking depressing but feels like a closure, finally. Now for a new chapter of my life.......

FUCK THIS SHIT.

P/s: Thank you for all the well wishes and sharing your experiences with me everyone. I read through each and everyone of them and I really appreciate all your concern. I'm just gonna approve all the comments without replying them one by one because I don't really know how to this time. But I really thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. I hope all of us can find happiness once again.

2010-11-09T15:12:00.006+08:00

Random night at Bayshore with Baby girls! Miss them soooooooo much especially Mother Marisse. Wish we had more of such nights..

Pose queens.

Please save this photo eveyone. Mars has a bow on her. Awww... I love her.

Finally my life is a little back on track! I can see the light~~ Haha. I just need a bit more time and I know I will be happy again.

Shitty few months I had. Never wanna go through that again. So much disappointment, so much hate.

Really am very thankful for all my friends cause I know I can always count on them. What will I do without youuuuuuuuuuuuus..........

HOKAYZ.... Today's my day off! I'm gonna sleep my life away now!

Good day everyone! X

2010-10-30T18:47:00.006+08:00

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen people!

Pictures from Friday! Can't believe I slept from 9pm yesterday till now. Sprained my waist from cartwheeling at Butter and am bedridden now. Ouchhhhhhhhh!

I cannot even count the number of people she asked that night to "T-rex" with her....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!

Oh.. I just created formspring not long ago for fun! So ask awayyyyyy~~~ I'm gonna be quite random in answering my questions there cause I created it out of boredom. Replies depending on my mood so please don't be offended. ^^

http://www.formspring.me/Twiggtwiggz

2010-10-28T15:37:00.001+08:00

PIRATEGYPSIES COLLECTION 7 IS UP!

SHOW SOME LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE :D

2010-10-26T00:18:00.006+08:00

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?! I'M GONNA DIE A SPINSTER, UNLOVED AND UNWANTED.

I WAS NEVER LIKE THAT.

I DESERVE IT I DESERVE IT IDESERVE IT. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN LIKE HOW I WAS IN THE PAST.

NOT. EVER. GONNA. HAPPEN. AGAIN.

FAILURE IN LIFE, FAILURE FOR LIFE.

FUCK MY FUCKING BIG FAT LIFE!

No one bothers me, I'm gonna sleep my life away. When I wake up, it'll be 2011.